I’m sorry I have been away for so long. In truth, it has been a difficult summer, and blogging about it has been the last thing on my mind. But now, now that I have had some time for reflection, I’d like to share what has happened over the past few months.
One of the greatest struggles of the summer has been with my job. I have known for quite a while that I have outgrown my entry-level position, but am continuously getting passed over for better positions. I am starting to wonder if this isn’t the place for me. I get glowing reviews from the people I work with, as well as the supervisors multiple levels above me, but no one is willing to take a chance and give me a shot at something in which I know I could really shine. It’s horribly frustrating and I am trying to work through it as best I can, but continuously getting rejected has been awful.
Even more difficult than the uncertainty of the future of my career was the loss of someone I loved very, very much. While I can’t get into too much detail without breaking down, Boyfriend and I lost our amazing dog, Logan, in July. He was less than 4 years old, but somehow contracted a strain of a disease called encephalitis that he did not recover from. We were forced to make the excruciatingly difficult decision to end his suffering and say goodbye to one of the best dogs in the world. I know that he is happy and pain-free now, and that God just wanted him to be closer to him in heaven because he was such a good boy. And I know that we will see each other again, someday. Logan, I miss you so much and I hope you know how much you were loved.
That was hard.
So there is probably very little explanation required as to why I subsisted mostly on toast and smoothies for the first party of July. Slowly, slowly I have started eating again, but it has mostly been takeout or crappy frozen meals. Not ideal, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do any meal planning, recipe research, cooking or baking. My Google Reader was seriously starved for starred recipes and articles.
While Boyfriend and I were practically inconsolable for most of this time, what we missed most was the routine of having a dog around. Our place wasn’t the same. We were both at a loss when it came to doing simple things, like walking outside in the morning or putting a bowl of food down in the afternoon.
And so it came as no surprise to either of us when we started talking about getting another dog. Not as a replacement, never, but as a successor to our wonderful boy. And so, meet Brady.
We adopted Brady from a local rescue last week. Brady was one of 9 puppies born in a kill shelter in Michigan, and the rescue, Homeward Bound, took in all of the puppies and the mom. He is a golden retriever/husky mix, and he looks just like his momma.
It’s been challenging making the transition from an adult dog to a puppy. Brady has yet to learn how to walk on a leash or that it’s not ok to use my hand as a teething device. He needs to be watched constantly and taken outside the minute he wakes up from a nap, ideally even sooner. He’s learning, but he’s going to need a lot of attention, discipline and love.
Honestly, I feel a strange sense of guilt writing about both dogs in one post. And the even more brutally honest fact is that I don’t yet love Brady like I loved Logan, but I think that is partly because I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since Logan got sick and Brady is a handful all of the time (it’s kind of what I imagine postpartum depression would be like, only with dogs). I do love the little stinker, but he has some big paw prints to fill.
Brady is slowly learning that his crate is not such a bad place to be, but until he is a bit more self-sufficient, and I am able to get more than 5 uninterrupted minutes in the kitchen, there will be slim-to-no new recipes being churned out (seriously, I can’t even remember the last time I made a decent trip to the grocery store). Thanks to everyone for your love and support, your prayers for Logan and your warm welcome to Brady.